The Squid Poem
Several squids await inside,
Each perfumed with formaldehyde.
We all pair up and then sit down.
The squids are being passed around.
Some are chubby. Some are thinner.
One’s a beauty contest winner.
We are told that our first task
Is to remove the buccal mass.
I pull and pull with all my might.
Alas! This naughty squid can bite!
Inspection and a squeeze or two
Make my squid barf up some goo.
No brain ring and no brain inside –
Maybe this is why it died.
A lens that’s rather small in size
Is tucked away in each its eyes.
A rip, a tear, and then a squeeze
Serve to release these novelties.
Black eye juice comes squirting out!
I hear some of my neighbors shout.
I just smile with joy and glee
As dark eye juices cover me.
And, finally, the precious jewel
Turns out to be quite a tool!
Once the gunk is wiped off it,
The squid lens magnifies small print!
Before performing our next feat,
“Squid Theater” gives us quite a treat.
In a show awkward but great,
The actors explain how squids mate:
The mating squids just slap high-fives!
Once that’s done, the male dies.
The actors bow, and now I try
To see if my squid’s girl or guy.
A slice reveals a bizarre scene:
A blob that looks like Vaseline.
It is now explained to me
That this confirms my squid’s a she.
Another trip inside this creature
Reveals to me her premiere feature:
A pouch of liquid midnight black.
At last, I’ve found the squid’s ink sack!
So courteous, she gifts again;
My squid produces next a pen.
I’m inspired to draw a scene
Depicting all that I’ve just seen.
A dead-squid-style Vitruvian Man
Is what is now my master plan!
Unfortunately, I do think
Ms. Squid here has run out of ink.
But I don’t mind! There’s still some fun
To be had now that drawing’s done.
Though now the squids must take their leave,
I’ve still got one trick up my sleeve:
The next time that I spot a friend,
I’ll ask them just what fills their pen.
Without a doubt, they will say, “Ink.”
Ink black. Ink blue. Ink red. Ink pink.
However, I will gladly bid
That none of it’s fresh-out-of-squid!